Note: The following is an excerpt from the original Blast Rocketon serials produced on Earth in the 1930’s. Unlike the current, up dated incarnation, this serial presents some of the ideals and stereotypes typical of the period. These characteristics are included for historical accuracy and in no way represent the current views or opinions of management.
The bright silver saucer cut sharp to the left just as the huge bronze rocket blasted past. The Saturnian rocket was more powerful and faster than the Jupitorian saucer, but it was far outmatched by the saucer’s maneuverability. After turning, the rocket once again overshot the skimming disc and hand to make a long circular return before it could line up for another attack. Fortunately this strafing run connected and one of the Saturnian guns blew a bright hole in the edge of the silvery disk.
Quickly the rocket slowed and sidled up to the still glowing opening in the saucer and Saturnian troops in clear, air tight helmets jumped across the gap between ships to storm through the breech. A small group of Jupitorian guards were quickly defeated and the Saturnians secured their foothold on the alien ship.
“Dr. Xar,” the Saturnian Captain took off his large, spherical helmet and talked into his wrist link, “We’ve secured this part of the ship.”
“Have you met much resistance, Captain Trent?’ the voice at the other end said.
“Not much at all, it was easy…. Too easy.” Captain Trent replied skeptically.
“They’re probably consolidating their forces to guard Queen Titiana Asteroid.” Xar said.
“Not to mention the new secret weapon she’s been bragging about” the captain said with a touch of frustration. “Something she got from somewhere called ‘Earth’.”
“Yes, and since we don’t know what that weapon is yet, you’ll have to make sure they don’t turn it on us.” Dr. Xar said through the comm.
“Don’t worry, Doctor, we’ll find whatever it is.” The Captain turned off his wrist comm. and rallied his troops. “Come on, men. We need to find that weapon!”
Meanwhile, the Jupitorians had gathered in the central atrium of the saucer; the largest and most defensible area of the ship. The huge arena was solidly packed with royalty, crew and marines.
“Your retinue is all secure and the forces are in place, your Highness.” The Jupitorian Captain said as he approached his queen.
“Good! Make sure no one enters this room, Captain.” The queen said. “We’ll need time to ready our secret weapon.”
“The weapon that we got from Earth? I didn’t think it would be ready for weeks?”
“Oh we can make him ready.” The queen walked over to a tall Earth man who was gagged and tied to a wheeled handcart.
“Your majesty, he may be a powerful soldier, but we’re going to need time to get him conditioned. He can’t be trusted.”
“Don’t worry; I know how to fix that.” The Queen ran her hand down her captive’s jaw line and across his chest. “Captain, prepare for a marriage ceremony.”
“Your highness, now?” the Captain looked nervously at the sounds of battle that started to come from the corridors. “The Saturnians are approaching.”
“Yes Captain, now!” the Queen purred, “You will make the Earthman my husband, and then he will have no choice but to follow his vows to protect and obey me. His honor will demand it. He will help us defeat the Saturians, and they will have no way to take him away from us.”
“As you wish, your majesty.”
“I do.” She wrapped herself around the bound captive and whispered into his ear. “He will serve me in all ways.”
“Yes, your highness.” The Captain took his place behind a computer console on a small dais.
“You have your orders, Captain.” She suddenly snapped, “Marry Blast Rocketron to me!”
In the corridor, the fighting was escalating as the Saturnians met the bulk of the Jupitorian forces just outside the central atrium.
“We’ve found the main forces, Doctor! They’re protecting the core area of the ship” the Jupitorian captain yelled into his comlink over the sounds of gunfire.
“Good work, Captain.” Doctor Xar replied, “The queen and her weapon must be inside1”
“I just hope we’re not too late.” The Captain said as he turned back to the fighting.
Inside, a bound and gagged Blast stood next to the queen as they faced the captain of the Saturnian saucer.
“Queen Titiana Asteroid, do you have any objection to following the marital vows and commitments of Jupitorial custom?” the captain read from a computer display.
“I have no objection.” The Queen smiled.
“And do you, Blast Rocketron of Earth, have any objection to following the marital vows and commitments of Jupitorial custom?” Blast mumbled loudly into his gag but quickly realized he wasn’t being understood. He struggled violently against the bonds and began kicking spastically against the cart he was tied to.
“Oh I’m sorry if you’re having trouble answering” the Queen smiled smugly, “It is Jupitorian tradition for the bride to choose what the groom wears. And I really like the gag.”
“Since there are no objections…” the Captain said hurriedly just before the doors to the atrium burst open.
“Quick! Finish this!” the Queen demanded. Saturians poured into the room.
“I now pronounce you….” A Saturian officer grabbed the Queen and leveled his gun at her head, “… man and wife!” the Captain spit out before he was grabbed by Captain Trent.
“You’re too late!” The Queen laughed, “He’s mine now!”
“Is this your secret weapon?” the Trent said.
“Yes, a super soldier we abducted from the planet Earth.” She said as she began to untie Blast. “He can single handedly destroy your entire crew. And now that we’re married, you can never have him. He’s sworn to be totally loyal to me for as long as we both shall live.”
“It’s totally legal and binding.” The Jupitorian Captain confirmed.
“She’s right, sir!” the man holding his gun on the queen lowered it. “If they’re married, there’s nothing we can do about it.”
“You’re right, Lieutenant.” The Captain sighed, “We’re done for.”
“Welcome to married life, my love” The queen finished untying Blast and kissed him before turning to Captain Trent with an evil gleam. “I think you should begin to show your devotion to me by killing the Saturnian Captain.” With a sigh, Blast turned to look at Captain Trent who maintained his grip on the Jupitorian Captain. Slowly Blast climbed the dais until they were face to face. Then, without breaking eye contact with Trent, Blast reared back and punched the Jupitorian Captain in the jaw, knocking him out of Saturnian Captain’s grip and across the dais.
“Not that one, you idiot!” the Queen yelled, “the other one!” But Blast just turned and regarded her with an evil grin. “You have to obey me! We’re married!” she shrieked.
“No we’re not, Sweetheart.” Blast said.
“You didn’t denounce the traditional vows, you couldn’t.” the Queen stammered with confusion. “We’re married!” Blast reached over and quickly activated the alien computer console that the captain had read the vows off of.
“Computer, replay the marriage vow ceremony and run it through your multi-translation program for analysis.” Blast copied the orders that he had overheard Jupitorians use when accessing the computer. It worked. In a moment the last few minutes of the ceremony replayed.
“…And do you, Blast Rocketron of Earth, have any objection to following the marital vows and commitments of Jupitorial custom?” The Captain question was followed by Blasts rhythmic struggles and stomping.
“Multi-translation recognizes patterns as Earth Morris Code,” the computer said, “translated as ‘I do object’”
“So you see, your highness, I did denounce your vows before all of these witnesses.” Blast strode up to her defiantly. “We are not married and I intend to leave with my new friends here.”
“We’ll see about that.” The Queen suddenly activated a jewel on her necklace and suddenly swarms of Jupitorian guards swept in from every door surrounding the entire room.
“It’s a trap! We’re surrounded!” The Captain Trent cried.
To be continued…