Note: The following is an excerpt from the original Blast Rocketon serials produced on Earth in the 1930’s. Unlike the current, up dated incarnation, this serial presents some of the ideals and stereotypes typical of the period. These characteristics are included for historical accuracy and in no way represent the current views or opinions of management.
After a short flight to Neptune, the Rocket settled down on a sandy patch of ground between the mountains and the jungle. Blast, Suzie and Turtle Man made their way out to the alien world of Neptune.
“Where do you think the Staranium is?” Turtle Man said.
“The ship’s infoscanner said it was in this direction.” Blast pointed into the dense foliage then hooked his thumbs into the straps of his rocket pack.
“But that’s the deepest darkest jungle in the whole galaxy, Blast.” Suzie said, “No one has ever been through there.”
“That’s why no one has found the Staranium.” Blast smiled, “Come on, we’ll be fine.” And he led the way into the thick brush. Instantly the trees cast them into deep shadows and the sounds of jungle creatures seemed to grow louder as they fell into a silent pace. The movement of leaves and the shadows created a constant illusion of movement around them. Darting shadows and barely imagined figures seemed to completely encircle them.
“This looks dangerous.” Turtle Man said as he pulled his head down into his oversized armor. Suzie didn’t say anything, but she did snuggle up behind Blast and slipped her arms around him. Blast simply drew his laser gun and continued deeper into the forest.
The darkness receded slightly just before they immerged into somewhat of an opening. A large crevice blocked their passage.
“Now what?” Suzie asked.
“I guess we’ll have to go back.” Turtle Man drawled.
“Not yet,” Blast snapped, “Look down there.” He pointed a little further down the gorge where a tree had fallen over across the span creating a bridge.
“Are you kidding?” Suzie asked.
“Nope, we’ll have no problem getting across that.” Blast laughed as he led the way. Once there he did a quick examination of the potential path. Most of the tree’s roots still held the base firm and kept it from rolling as he kicked the log looking for any signs of instability.
“This will be swell,” Blast said as he hopped onto the log and began inching across it with his arms out for balance.
“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” Suzie said as she climbed up and followed him.
“Don’t leave me here,” Turtle Man climbed onto the log, but he remained on all fours as he crawled after the others. Slowly they made their way across the treacherous expanse.
Just as they made it to the half way point, the trees in front of them began to rustle and the edge of the cliff was instantly lined with dozens of nearly naked women wearing the minimalist bikini’s made out of a variety of animal skins. But they all had fierce looking spears, bows, slings and even some primitive swords.
“They don’t look too welcoming.” Blast said. “Turn around; we’ll need to go back.” But as they looked back the other way, they found another squadron of amazons lining that side of the crevice. Slowly the warrior women began to climb out onto the log from either direction pinching them into the middle.
“We’re trapped, Blast,” Suzie said as she clung to him. “You’ll have to shoot our way out!”
“I can’t shoot them, Suzie.” A small quiver of panic slipped into Blast’s voice, “They’re women!”
“Then how are we going to get out of here?” Suzie began to cry.
Suddenly, from off to one side, one of the Amazon women swung out on a vine in a long arc out over the chasm. As the arc skimmed over the log bridge, she grabbed Turtle Man around the waist and, dangling him upside down, carried him off along the rest of her swing.
“Help me!” he cried as he pulled himself completely into his armored shell. However, before anyone could do anything another Amazon was swinging out from the other side of the gorge and she grabbed Suzie from Blast’s embrace.
“Blast!” She screamed! But as soon as the first Amazon had deposited Turtle Man to some of her sisters, she swung back to grab Blast off of the log bridge.
“Let me go!” Blast ordered pointing his laser gun at his captor as they swung across the gorge.
“You don’t want to do that, if you shoot me, we’ll both fall.” The Amazon smiled down at him smugly. With a sigh, Blast realized she was right, holstered his weapon and clung back to make sure she didn’t drop him.
“Who are you?” he asked.
“My name is Sasha.”
“I’m Blast, why did you have to grab us like this? Why not just introduce yourselves?”
“We did not believe you would come willingly.”
“Why, what do you intend to do with us?”
“You will be served at a special banquet this evening.”
“Yes, we celebrate all of our finest events with the consumption of man flesh.”
“Yes, that’s the word. Cannibals.”
“You don’t really don’t want to eat me, do you?” Blast turned on his prize winning smile.
“I… I have no choice.” The slightest quiver of uncertainty crept into Sasha’s voice.
“There are much better ways a man and a woman can spend their time.” He leaned further into her embrace and locked her eyes with his.
“There are?” Sasha could feel her heat begin to rise.
“Look, you can do anything with me that you want, but you have to let Suzie go!” Blast whispered into her ear.
“But she is the cause of the celebration.” Giggled at the tingling feeling he was giving her.
“What do you mean?’ Blast pulled back.
“She is to be married to the Te’Rexa.” Sasha said with a look of awe. But before Blast could respond, she had completed her swing and was delivering him to the control of her sisters waiting in the treetops.
Quickly and efficiently, the men were carried and tossed about to other Amazons until they arrived at a primitive looking village flooded with light from torches and bonfires. Pounding drums and thrashing dances created enlivened festivities with enough energy to rival any civilized cities night life. Unfortunately Blast and Turtle Man weren’t feeling very festive as they were carried to the center of the village where a large metal pot filled with water sat on top of a pile of fire wood. A young Amazon knelt underneath carefully stacking more wood under the cooking apparatus..
A variety of party decorations and favors make of skulls and bones covered the village and villagers, predicting the fate of the outsiders. Several villagers were setting out what appeared to be eating utensils and preparing fruit and vegetable side dishes.
“This doesn’t look good.” Turtle Man grumbled, pulling his head into his exoskeleton.
“That’s an understatement.” Blast replied as he tugged at the ropes binding his wrists behind his back.
“Can’t you talk to them? Reason with them?”
“How do you reason with people who plan to boil and eat you?” Blast snarled
Suddenly, the young girl who had been piling fire wood under the cauldron finished her task and stepped back. The music ended in a crescendo and the villagers all turned to cheer the final preparations of their celebratory feast. Several Amazon warriors surrounded the pot with torches, but they were halted by, what appeared to be, the leader of the village who strolled out of the jungle and headed toward the center of the congregation. She held her elderly hands up and signaled for silence. The entire village and even the surrounding jungle seemed to follow her order. Even Blast and Turtle Man froze, hoping that this might signal some last minute reprieve.
The silence held for a long moment before being broken by a distant crashing far off in the jungle, followed by a heart wrenching scream.
“That’s Suzie!” Blast exclaimed.
“It is done!” the village elder said. “The girl is now the bride of the Te’Rexa. Let the feast begin!” Suddenly the drums and dancing resumed and the warriors tossed their torches into the logs under the iron pot. Flames leapt up to light the edges of the pot and begin boiling the water.
“Stop! Wait!” Blast was surprising at the girly way his voice sounded. He never expected he was capable of creating such a high squeaky noise. But then he noticed Sasha, the warrior who had grabbed him from the log bridge, step forward with her spear and he realized she was the one who had cried out.
“With the Te’Rexa wedding complete, this man is womanless. Therefore I claim him as my own!” She cried out to the crowd.
“Impossible!” the elder stammered, “he is our feast.”
“We have the other; he is plenty to feed our village. I want the man!”
“This is madness, Sasha! You cannot defy the order of our tribe.”
“You know I am the strongest warrior of this village, does anyone dare oppose me?” Sasha pointed her spear out as she scanned the Amazons who meekly edged away from her.
“Don’t do this, Sasha. He is dangerous.” The elder pleaded. But Sasha had already dipped her spear into the boiling pot to cut the ropes tying Blasts wrists. Blast quickly leapt out of the pot, stepped clear of the flames and glanced around at the angry and frightened faces that surrounded him. But before he could do anything, Sasha ran to him, threw her arms into a tight embrace, and buried her face in his chest.
“Oh Blast, finally you are mine. I am the greatest, strongest and most skilled warrior on all of Neptune. I promise to make you happy and be the best wife anyone could be!” But Blast softly plucked the spear from her hand and, with a gentle shove, sent her dropping unceremoniously on her backside among her Amazon sisters.
“Sorry, Doll, I’m a one woman man. And you’re not that woman.” Blast used the spear to pluck Turtle Man out of the boiling pot and snap his bindings.
“Keep an eye on these dames,” Blast said as he tossed Turtle Man his laser gun. “Don’t let them cause any more trouble.
“You bet, Blast.” Turtle Man held the gun shakily with both hands as he turned it around the village.
“All right, everyone step back!” Blast stepped over to a clear flat area of the village and motioned for everyone to step way back. “I’m blasting out of here and going to find Suzie.” When he was satisfied that everyone was at a safe distance, he bent his knees, looked to the skies and slapped the rocket pack control button on his chest. The village fell into silence as everyone held their breath. But nothing happened. After a long pause, Blast looked down and hit the button again… and again… and one more time…
“The soup must have gummed up the works.” Turtle Man said.
“Well, I’ll just have to do this the old fashioned way.” Blast grabbed Sasha’s spear and ran off into the woods.
To be continued…