New Zortiac Signs
on January 14, 2011 at 7:48 pm
Posted In: Editorial
So there’s been a lot of confusion and frustration regarding the recent change to the signs of the Zodiac. Having taken a closer look, I think the problem is that people are being forced to change their zodiac signs to other signs that have predispositions and contexts that are separate from what we’ve all been raised to think of as our Zodiac signs. Therefore I think it would be cleaner and easier for everyone involved if we wiped the slate clean and started completely fresh and new.
So with that in mind, I present to you the new and improved Signs of the Zortiac! Take a look and enjoy finding out a little something new about yourself through your new sign.
January: You’re a Gumby – Flexible and dependable and a big help against Blockheads.
February: You’re an Archie – Romantically inclined, even if you can’t choose between blond and brunette.
March: You’re a Scooby – You’re not around a lot… Unless there are snacks…
April: You’re a Bugs – Ain’t you a stinker.
May: You’re a Woody – Your laughter is sincere and contagious even if it is a bit manic.
June: You’re a Mickey – You seem nice, but have a talent for global domination.
July: You’re a Homer – Sorry.
August: You’re a Megatron –versatile and adaptive, as long as you need to be a truck.
September: You’re a Bullwinkle – Your rabbit is in your other hat.
October: You’re a Popeye – You am what you am and that’s all that you am.
November: You’re a Snoopy –a “Joe Cool” who has a hidden hatred of the Red Baron.
December: You’re a Rudolph –a misfit who should make friends with a dentist.